The Historian

I dunno about this one. I’m about 125 pages into it and frowning a lot. And skimming, which is not a good sign. I’m alternately bored and slightly grossed out (I say “slightly” because I somehow didn’t expect a story with Vlad the Impaler as a major player to be exactly a giggle-fest. The dude had serious control issues). Since I paid hardcover price (albeit with a Sam’s Club discount), I’ll probably finish it. The writing is good, no bones to pick there, but day-um, this is one loooooong book.

Which in and of itself shouldn’t be a problem. Lord, used to be I’d haul home from the library the biggest, heaviest historical epics I could find. Remember SARUM by Edward Rutherford? Scarfed that one down (with more than a few “eeewws” along the way — definitely not a story for the weak of stomach) in a couple of days, as I recall. So now I’m wondering if ten years of reading primarily commercial fiction, with its snappier pacing and generally shorter word count (Harry Potter excluded) has spoiled me for meatier reads, that I no longer have the patience for leisurely storytelling I once had.

That, or the book is just boring, Vlad’s escapades notwithstanding.

(And yes, I know I said I wouldn’t publicly pan a book, but I’ll make an exception when large advances and mega promotional hype are involved. Besides, it’s just my opinion, which is worth about a nickel on the open market these days.)

Posted: September 17, 2005 Comments (0)

Why?

Why on earth would anybody make placemats that can only be spot-cleaned? Or that, despite the label that says “washable,” come out of the ordeal looking, well, like all my old placemats? Yeah, I know, there’s always plastic, but having ditched the last Sesame Street jobber some time ago, I’ve grown rather fond of the grownups-actually-live-here-look. Except that even grownups spill food when they eat. And oddly enough, often on their placemats. So I’m guessing all those “spot clean” placemats are meant for houses where the inhabitants don’t actually eat. At least not in their own house.

Why did Ghiradelli think changing their Double Chocolate chip recipe to include more fat and less taste would improve the product?

Why did one of the kids up the street think pouring Coke in #5’s hair was a good idea?

And why did #5 wait until five minutes past his bedtime to alert me to this fact?

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